Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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