We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
