I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
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you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
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I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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