If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
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Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
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Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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