You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
