White coat. Heels.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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