She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
