I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We need to get me chipped asap
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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