I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
