he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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