I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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