the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
