Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
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pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
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I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?