Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He passed out mid-signature
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.