Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys

  (214): View more from Texas

  I hope to god you are high

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  (972): like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys (214): I hope to god you are high http://tfl.nu/z79a
  Replies (12) Good night (3284) Bad night (755)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.

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  (314): so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for. http://tfl.nu/ue3g
  Replies (16) Good night (4238) Bad night (1032)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.

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  (519): You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night. http://tfl.nu/cmtj
  Replies (3) Good night (2303) Bad night (822)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.

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  (615): my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap. http://tfl.nu/2c94
  Replies (27) Good night (4354) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here

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  (815): Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here http://tfl.nu/3q8i
  Replies (36) Good night (1065) Bad night (6319)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.

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  (407): mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad. http://tfl.nu/ifx0
  Replies (18) Good night (4212) Bad night (652)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.

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  (216): She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it. http://tfl.nu/064r
  Replies (13) Good night (6556) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  The panties match.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  I'll be right there.

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  (847): The panties match. (1-847): I'll be right there. http://tfl.nu/jbhz
  Replies (35) Good night (6052) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.

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  (206): Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional. http://tfl.nu/t1vf
  Replies (10) Good night (2753) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.

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  (703): The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party. http://tfl.nu/q2r5
  Replies (4) Good night (4024) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.

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  (910): I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way. http://tfl.nu/yh0e
  Replies (2) Good night (1488) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.

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  (405): Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center. http://tfl.nu/aec1
  Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.

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  (831): Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success. http://tfl.nu/80xv
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.

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  (818): I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life. http://tfl.nu/oikb
  Replies (0) Good night (592) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?

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  (703): What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to? http://tfl.nu/gsf7
  Replies (0) Good night (362) Bad night (196)

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