pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The struggles of a small town man whore
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.