Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.

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(773): My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas. http://tfl.nu/zv1j

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(214): View more from Texas

I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts

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(214): I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts http://tfl.nu/860y

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(214): View more from Texas

A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all

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(214): A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all http://tfl.nu/e59p

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(302): View more from Delaware

Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.

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(302): Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters. http://tfl.nu/m9v3

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(407): View more from Florida

Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.

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(407): Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously. http://tfl.nu/nqmc

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(925): View more from California

I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it

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(925): I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it http://tfl.nu/75u1

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(226): View more from Ontario

This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex

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(226): This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex http://tfl.nu/70co

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.

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(250): Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame. http://tfl.nu/gc6a

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(309): View more from Illinois

Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.

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(309): Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe. http://tfl.nu/wokx

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(289): View more from Ontario

The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.

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(289): The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am. http://tfl.nu/r9i0

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(402): View more from Nebraska

His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.

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(402): His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time. http://tfl.nu/xcon

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(541): View more from Oregon

stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms

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(541): stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms http://tfl.nu/9llu

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(607): View more from New York

Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend

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(607): Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend http://tfl.nu/0ja4

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(409): View more from Texas

I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.

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(409): I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it. http://tfl.nu/vd4l

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(541): View more from Oregon

And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.

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(541): And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual. http://tfl.nu/zw2q

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