I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
