i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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