dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My ass is underappreciated
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
