So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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