I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Tornado booty call.. dedication
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
