he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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