oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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