Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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