im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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