i just wanna soil my oats bro
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
