I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
