she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
