Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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