I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
