are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
