Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I don't think brook has ever known best
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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