oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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