just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
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I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
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