is this the sara with the beer cane?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
