Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize