thus making me awesome and them whores
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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