So drunk its hurt
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
