I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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