walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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