when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
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So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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