CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
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