Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
