Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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