I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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