yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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