Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
