i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
