it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
