you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
