is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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