We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
