my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize