After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
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you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
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STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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