How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
