Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Congratulations! We have a period
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
