I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just pynch a tree in the face
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
