Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
