I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
