dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
