she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
